Monday, October 3, 2011


This is how I feel today.

Run away. Stay. Longing to feel whole. Struggling for a long time. No result. Not knowing what more can be done. Empty. Miracles. Silly to think things could change. Love. Need. So powerful. Frustration. Longing to know what more can be done. Lack of action. No more action. It hurts. Rest. Sleep. So tired. Longing to sleep. So far away. Come back. Encounter. No productive result. Sadness. Separate. Far apart. Lack of understanding. In need of more. In need of background. Context could be helpful. Mind. Illusions. Dreams. Far far away. Longing to be closer. The Sun. Warmth. Sight. Insight. Go deeper. Find what is hidden underneath. So much to cut through. It cuts both ways. Ripping apart from the inside out. Tearing sound. Her heart. Oblivion. Falling in deeper. No end. Spiraling. Unpleasant surroundings. Good feelings deep inside. Confrontation. Crash. Bullshit. Heavy. Weak. Not floating. Walking round in circles. Trying to shrug it off. Kick it far away. Pain. Fear. Sick. Yes, afraid. Express feelings. No more. Lack of trust. Longing to understand what went wrong. Self-critical. Unrealistic. Lack of communication. Longing to talk. Desire to hear and to be heard. Escape. Need to run away. Start from scratch. Need to be clean. Sadness. No more.

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