Sunday, February 27, 2011

Blinding...


When I think in the mental state I have been in the last couple of months, Flo's song is so adequate to describe such state...

Florence + The Machine - Blinding

Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber
Until I realize that it was you who held me under

Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs

And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack
All around the world was waking, I never could go back
Because all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open
And finally it seemed that the spell was broken

And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open

No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Starting now...

Last night I had a dream, but based on the way I felt when I woke up, I should better call it a nightmare. I felt distressed and distraught. Out of it... I hate feeling that way. I guess I dreamt about the wolf because I talked about him at dinner last night. Note to myself: never talk about the wolf... ever. That way I will not dream about him. Because of how I felt this morning and still kinda do, this song perfectly fits the way I feel right now. Ingrid Michaelson is awesome like that.

Ingrid Michaelson - Starting Now

I want to crawl back inside my mother's womb
I want to shut out all the lights in this room
I want to start fresh, like a baby in a sink
Scrub away all these thoughts that I think of you

So life moves slowly when you're waiting for it to boil
Feel like I watch from 6 feet under the soil
Still want to hold you and kiss behind your ears
But I re count the countless tears that I lost for you

I want to crawl back inside my bed of sin
I want to burn the sheets that smell like your skin
Instead I'll wash them just like kitchen rags with stains
Spinning away every piece that remains of you.

But before you finally go there's one thing you should know: That I promise -

Starting now I'll never know your name
Starting now I'll never feel the same
Starting now I wish you never came into my world.
It's my world, it's not ours anymore

Breakable...

Sometimes you really regret doing certain things... I regret giving my heart to a wolf... Little Red Riding Hood was certainly way smarter than me... u.u

Ingrid Michaelson - Breakable

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law.
In your two ton death trap I finally saw.
A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.
Then you drove me to places I'll never forget.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Perfume - 575

This is literally the last song I sent to him... I wonder how things changed so much from then to now. A beautiful song by one of my favorite bands: Perfume.

I don't want to lose to this love, give it, give it up
In the season when hot wind blows, my heart sways
Even now, I still don't believe them
But those words remain stuck in my mind

We can't meet, and I wonder where my feelings could be
I want to see you, but I can't find the keypad
Even though I wish this distance could shrink soon
Moody boy, what could I send to you ?

I play at lining up words like 5-7-5; ah, I want to search for your heart
1-2-3 passes slowly, and the final train has already closed
"Ah, I've got some free time now" -- could this be my chance ?
Pushing the buttons little by little now
I close my eyes and pray for a reply as I send these feelings to you

"Hey, hey, what are you up to now ? "
"I thought I'd go to sleep soon"
But I don't want to sleep at all
Our conflict in the empty dead of night
It's a natural high; is today already a goodnight ?
He's such a selfish person, but he's the one I love
Good night; this season isn't over yet

I don't want to give him to that girl, give it, give it up
In the season when hot wind blows, I wipe away my tears
Even now, I still don't believe them
But those words remain stuck in my mind

We can't meet, and I wonder where my feelings could be
I want to see you, but I can't find the keypad
Even though I wish this distance could shrink soon
Moody boy, what could I send to you ?

I play at lining up words like 5-7-5; ah, I want to search for your heart
1-2-3 passes slowly, and the final train has already closed
"Ah, I've got some free time now" -- could this be my chance ?
Pushing the buttons little by little now
I close my eyes and pray for a reply as I send these feelings to you

"Hey, hey, what are you up to now ? "
"I thought I'd go to sleep soon"
But I don't want to sleep at all
Our conflict in the empty dead of night
It's a natural high; is today already a goodnight ?
He's such a selfish person, but he's the one I love
Good night, good morning; this season isn't over yet

We can't meet, and I wonder where my feelings could be
I want to see you, but I can't find the keypad
Even though I wish this distance could shrink soon
Moody boy, what could I send to you ?

Friday, February 18, 2011

"Heavy In Your Arms" - Florence And The Machine [OFFICIAL]

I love Florence Welch.

Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love

I shall see Florence this summer again! I saw her for my bday last year, and I shall see her again! muahahahahahaha I am like super excited!

In the Mourning...

Paramore = new song! And pretty self-explanatory for me, since many things in my past are dying or dead to me now (finally) and I am being set free from them... I hope you like the song as much as I do.

Paramore - In The Mourning

You escape like a runaway train
Off the tracks and down again
My heart's beating like a steam boat tugging all your burdens
On my shoulders

In the mourning I'll rise
In the mourning I'll let you die
In the mourning, all my worry.

Now there's nothing but time that's wasted
And words that have no backbone
Now it seems like the whole world's waiting
Can you hear the echoes fading?

In the mourning I'll rise
In the mourning I'll let you die
In the mourning, all my 'sorry's

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Already Gone...

And if you haven't noticed it seems as if Kelly Clarkson's songs always fit to what my heart is feeling. So yeah, these songs reflect what my heart is feeling, was feeling and has started to no longer feel. XD

Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone


Since You've Been Gone...

Well, I am happy to say I am happily over the loss of a very dear person to me, because I have been reassured that he is over me as well. And now I can actually breathe and move on with my life! It feels soooo good, and my friends support me 100% and that makes me feel even better! So, this song is all for you, I can now get what I want.

Kelly Clarkson - Since You've Been Gone

Here's the thing we started off friends. It was cool but it was all pretend. You dedicated you took the time. Wasn't long till I called you mine. Since you been gone... And all you'd ever hear me say is how I pictured me with you. That's all you'd ever hear me say. How can I put it? You put me on. I even fell for that stupid love song. Since you been gone... But since you been gone I can breathe for the first time. I'm so movin on. Thanks to you now I get what I want. Since you been gone... You had your chance you blew it. Out of sight, out of mind. Shut your mouth I just can't take it again and again and again and again... But since you been gone I can breathe for the first time. I'm so movin on. Thanks to you now I get what I want. Since you been gone... XD


Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sober

It has been 3 months since the last time I spoke to him, and it has been a living hell, but I have been able to overcome it little by little with the help of the people who love me. This song is all for him... I am trembling as I write this though... three months and I am still sober... kind of, because I did get drunk last night :D oh well, here goes for you, my lonely wolf...


And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely

So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it's never really over

And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Wake up

Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am

Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months

Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

Here is the song... one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard in my life, and I break down every freaking time I hear it...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Te siento...

Hoy desperté a las 3 am llorando y retorciendomé del dolor, pero no era dolor físico. Era más bien dolor que sale de lo mas profundo del corazón... el peor dolor porqué no sabes como hacerlo parar, porque no puedes curarlo con medicina... Lloraba por tí, porque ya no te tengo en mi vida, porque me haces falta, porque tú llenabas algo en mi que nadie mas puede llenar, ni siquiera él. Aunque el me ame mucho, no puede llenar ese vacío como tú. Lloraba, cantaba y oraba a la vez, estuve así por dos horas, hasta que el se percató que yo no dormía y el intentó consolarme, finalmente logrando que yo conciliara el sueño. Tengo miedo de que nunca te vaya a poder olvidar, y que esto que siento dentro siempre será así de fuerte y yo no podré estar sin tí, pero debo ser fuerte, por mi y por él, por nosotros, porque yo lo amo a el tanto como te amaba y todavía te amo a tí. Mientras lloraba se me venía a la mente esta canción...

Me desperté llorando,
soñé que no volvías,
Que no llegaba a tiempo quizás,
quizás tu despedida.
Las lagrimas saladas,
mojaban mis mejillas,
mi carita empapada, los sueños,
los sueños que morían.

No importarán las formas,
ni la piel que te pongas.
Ni cuándo, dónde y cómo,
ni el nombre, ni el nombre que te nombra.
Porque sé que estás cerca,
te siento en carne viva.
Me desperté llorando y supe,
y supe que no volvías.

Te siento en ese beso que no fué,
te siento en las ausencias.
Te siento en los escombros de este amor,
que me llenó de penas.
Te siento en el olvido,
te siento en el recuerdo,
te siento en cada parte,
te siento en todo el cuerpo.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Sympathy

You spoke the words, the room dropped 10 degrees
Suddenly I start to freeze
The air is thin, it’s hard to breathe
How should I react? Where to begin?
The walls are slowly caving in
It’s dangerous this state I’m in
Then you try to explain your deed, as I stand here and bleed
Shut up, I’ve already heard enough
I’m detached from my sanity, unstable and unwise
Don’t move, and nobody has to die
But I guess…

Breaking the pause, I go to turn around
I walk away, it’s getting loud
Someone turn the volume down
Gotta get destroyed and lose my head
Don’t think that I’ll return to bed
The bulls are out and seeing red
Take shelter, protect your heart, cause some treat it as art
Painting over and over it again
I try not to fall apart, attempting to hold on
Freak out, and everyone plays along
That…

Cry for me
Let me know you’re giving me thought
No more lies for me
Inject me with the honesty shot
Just sympathy
Leave it with me, it’s all that I’ve got
To face the storm out ther
e
But…

I’m, doing just fine, I’m doing just fine
Just give me some time, I need to close my eyes
I’m doin just fine, and I’ll be all right
Don’t worry I’m fine, as I leave the world behind
Don’t touch me I’m shaking, can you hear me breaking?
Yet somehow I’m still standing
Well maybe I’m crazy, but this is really hard for me
To think your heart belonged to me
Can I get some sympathy?

Sympathy - Karmina

Friday, February 4, 2011

Duvet

Duvet - Boa.

And you don’t seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don’t even feel a thing

I am falling
I am fading
I have lost it all

And you don’t seem the lying kind
A shame that I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle lit smile that we both share
And you know I don’t mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don’t even feel a thing

I am falling
I am fading
I am drowning, help me to breathe
I am hurting
I have lost it all
I am losing, help me to breathe


Here is the song:

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Implode...

BoA is one of my all time favorite singers. And this song is sooo beautiful. I can really identify with some of the lyrics. Here goes...

The times that we can't go back to
The feelings that have fallen
Even if I grab them, they fall apart in my hand
Because of the constant flowing tears.
I keep on looking back
"Don't leave me"
Why were those words so hard back then?
"Stay next to me".
Why were those words so hard back then?
Completely, wholefully
I cherished the broken and falling memories
No matter how much I try, there's no use
The yearning holds me tight
Even though it keeps me lingering.
It won't even let me turn around
Words of parting, words of weariness
Those words are drenched in many smiles and tears.
Like a lie, would I be able to live as if nothing happened?
It's so damn hard for me to let you go
You know I can't let you go
You left me like that, but I keep seeing you
Even if I grab you, you fall apart in my hand
It's still you.
I keep waiting for you.
At the place where there's no empty memories of you.

Here is the the song. I hope you like it.