Saturday, March 26, 2011

Wouldn't change a thing...

I was listening to this song on my IPod (I love how the Shuffle makes random songs pop up and then I start thinking!) the other day going to work, and I realized it describes my relationship with my boyfriend, Ryan, very well. I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years. Our anniversary is in June. It's been a while, and even today it is hard for us to understand and figure each other out. And we have fought a lot and have drove each other to brief glimpses of all kinds of crazy, but at the end of the day I love snuggling with him and I always turn to him to see if he is looking at me. A Wolf tried to come between us, but I did not let him, because I just love Ryan so much. I have this desire deep inside to take care of Ryan. I feel like I was placed in his life for a reason, and he has also opened my eyes to other ways of thinking and living... and I feel that he was placed in my life for a reason too. sigh, and when I think about all this, I realize that I am still here, that I still love him, and just like the song says, I wouldn't change a thing.

Me: It's like he doesn't hear a word I say. His mind is somewhere far away and I don't know how to get there. I do feel like Ryan sometimes does not pay attention to me when I talk to him, so I always ask him afterwards to repeat what I said. I know, very sad.
It's like all he wants is to chill out. I feel like he doesn't take things seriously.
(What Ryan would say about me: She's way too serious.

Me: He makes me wanna pull all my hair out.
He really does, and well, I really do pull my hair out. I have this weird disorder called Trichotillomania. But more about that later.
(What Ryan would say:
She's always in a rush, and interrupting l
ike she doesn't even care)
Me: And it's like he doesn't even care. But at the end of the day I know he cares. :)

Ryan: She's always trying to save the day. I really am. I am a workaholic. I am always trying to find something to do in my free time.
Ryan: Just wanna let my music play. She's all or nothing, but my feelings never change. I really am all or nothing, I am a Scorpio after all. :D
Ryan: I try to read her mind.
(What I say to Ryan: Why do you try to read my mind?
It's not good to psychoanalyze.)
Ryan: She tries to pick a fight to get attention, that's what all of my friends say.

Me to Ryan: You, me. We're face to face, but we don't see eye to eye. And I am guessing he thinks the same thing.
Ryan: When I'm yes, she's no.
Me: When I hold on, he just lets go.
I think this abut Ryan and me: We're perfectly imperfect, but I wouldn't change a thing.

Me to Ryan and vice versa: We are like fire (Jen) and rain (Ryan). You can drive me insane. But I can't stay mad at you for anything. We're Venus and Mars. We're like different stars. But you're the harmony to every song I sing, and I wouldn't change a thing

I hope this makes sense guys. I just think this song is perfect for Ry and me, because sometimes he makes me so angry and frustrated, but I cannot stay mad at him. He is too cute. I love him with all my heart. Hopefully, we will be celebrating our third anniversary. Wow, 3 years... amazing. Do I still want him to be the father of my children. Absolutely. No doubt. I simply love him.

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