Safe and Sound

Death ~ just reading the word shakes me up so bad. It is actually one of my biggest phobias. This phobia or fear is called thanatophobia. It is quite a natural phenomenon. None of us know really knows what will happen to us after we die. Thanatophobia definitely has roots in fears of the unknown. It is part of the human condition to want to know and understand the world around us. What happens after death, however, cannot be proven while we are still alive. People who are highly intelligent and inquisitive are often at greater risk for this type of thanatophobia, as are those who are questioning their own philosophical or religious beliefs. My thanatophobia is constantly at the back of my mind. My fear is worst at night, when I am alone in the dark and not distracted by day-to-day events. It makes sense that I would suffer from this since I have anxiety issues. But I digress… 


The whole reason why I starting thinking about death is because exactly one month ago, a very dear uncle to me left this world. He died after having a very tormented life. I guess he is resting now.  He was so young though – only 39 years old. He sunk more and more into despair because no one ever listened to him or did not listen to him enough. I certainly did not listen to him enough. I should have listened more. My uncle was an alcoholic and he died with his liver destroyed. Addictions, such as alcoholism and/or drugs are a temporary escape, but certainly not the solution. Unfortunately, my uncle knew no other way. That is why when you see someone in need, please stop and listen. I wish I could have been able to spend more time with my uncle. I feel a hole in my stomach. It’s too late. Two deaths in my family have left me sad and have left me with a hole not only in my stomach but in my heart as well. My great-grandmother, who literally was an angel on Earth. She died circa 2006 and now my uncle. Now with my uncle’s death, I feel a sharp pain in my heart. I can’t stop thinking about all the things I could have and should have done.to help. He had such a good heart. We needed, still need, and will always need people like my uncle. He was never violent and never reproached anything to anybody. Why do the good ones always have to go away before us? Is it to teach us a lesson? How come the good ones are so fragile?

When I found out my uncle had died, I played this song and thought about him. I hope he is safe and sound now, resting in peace.

I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said, I'll never let you go

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound
Don't you dare look out your window darling

Everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on

Hold onto this lullaby

Even when the music's gone

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound
You'll be alright

Come morning light,

You and I'll be safe and sound...

Just close your eyes

~ Taylor Swift