Distant ~ ハルカ [Haruka] ~

Don't you all love j-pop/j-rock songs? You can always find a song that will evoke strong emotions. At least, that seems to be my case. I always find a song that seems to have extracted the emotion/feeling out of my freaking heart! In this case, I found out one of my experiences was extracted out of my heart and then it was given to a cute band of girls with awesome voices to sing. I am talking about the j-poprock band SCANDAL. Gah! I love all their songs but Haruka in particular struck a cord in me even before I figured out what the lyrics meant in English. It's such a sad sad sad song. You can get that feeling just by listening to it. So, again, I was not surprised when I saw the lyrics in English and I was like AH! - that makes sense! This song reminds me of so many things I have gone through especially of all the times I have given my heart to a boy and all of a sudden life happened. Sigh ~ my heart all tinkered and tainted by me, myself. I am slowly putting it back together and cleaning it up but it is long process. Only time can heal they say. Slowly but surely my heart will shine again.

Well, I leave with you Haruka ~ I hope you like it as much as I do.

Someday it'll come true; love is by your side
Promises aren't needed, even though we're far apart

I can't say it right; the words I'm saying aren't reliable
Even though it should make me feel better getting it off my heart

Songs that I've just memorized are as awkward as those I give
Instead of goodbye, I said, "See you later"

Memories played out in the clear skies
I hid my tears; I don't want to forget your kind lie

I won't spill any tears
It's not the end; it's the beginning
Because even if I share my sorrow, I can't move forward
Why is kindness something I always realize afterwards?
The days I spent with you are shining
So I can walk on

Whatever day it is, the sense of reality increases
There's a thrill missing in being chased by large clocks

The goal I've aimed for isn't like something that can be seen, but
The scar I received from falling down is me myself

Dreams are always fleeting things that threaten to disappear with a blow of the wind
So that I won't lose, so that it won't be erased, I want to treasure it
Tears don't suit you; whatever happens, smile
Be the you that I know, even though we're far apart

The platform at dawn; it's becoming a little painful
I can't forget the warmth of your hand I had let go that day

I won't spill any tears
It's not the end; it's the beginning
I don't need promises, because I'll always think of you
Someday it'll come true; love is by your side
Surely we can meet again, even though we're far apart

In the changing time, stay the way you are

~ SCANDAL

Life

Live with intention.

Cultivate love.

Embrace joy.

Inspire hope.

Build intimacy.

Walk to the edge.

Listen hard.

Play with abandon.

Practice wellness.

Laugh.

Fail with enthusiasm.

Continue to learn.

Appreciate your friends.

Choose with no regret.

Risk love.

Stand by your family.

Do what you love.

Celebrate life.

Live as if this is all there is.

~ Mary Anne Radmacher

New Year

Hold On

The other day I was watching the movie Bridesmaids. [I love Maya Rudolph's wedding dress on the cover of the DVD/Blu-Ray, by the way. I want my wedding dress to be like that]. The bride's favorite song is Hold On. I loved the movie so much, and the usage of this song just made me love it that much more. I grew up listening to Wilson Phillips. My mom and I would sing and dance in our living room. I never really paid that much attention to the lyrics. I just liked the beats and all. But now that I am older the lyrics has much more meaning for me. Hold On is a song full of hope for the future. I think it is the perfect song to begin 2012 with. I leave with you the lyrics and video of Hold On.

I know this pain

Why do lock yourself up in these chains?

No one can change your life except for you

Don't ever let anyone step all over you

Just open your heart and your mind

Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

You could sustain

Or are you comfortable with the pain?

You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness

You got yourself into your own mess

Lettin' your worries pass you by

Don't you think it's worth your time

To change your mind?

I know that there is pain

But you hold on for one more day and

Break free from the chains

Yeah I know that there is pain

But you hold on for one more day and you

Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to

Turn around and say goodbye

Until then baby are you going to let them

Hold you down and make you cry

Don't you know?

Don't you know things can change

Things'll go your way

If you hold on for one more day yeah

If you hold on

Can you hold on

Hold on baby

Won't you tell me now

Hold on for one more day 'Cause

It's gonna go your way

Make up your mind

Hold on

Hold on

Baby hold on

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Here are some things I learned from the book 'Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close'. I can relate to them so much, and if I don't relate to them just yet, I feel like I will be able to apply them to my life someday ~

~I hope that one day you will have the experience of doing something you do not understand for someone you love.

~ I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.

~ It's not a horrible world, but it is filled with a lot of horrible people.

~ So many people enter and leave your life. Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But it also means you have to let them go.

~ There are more places you haven't heard of than you've heard of.

~ Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.

~ There's nothing wrong with not understanding yourself.

~ ...sometimes you have to put your fears in order...

~ The end of suffering does not justify the suffering, and so there is no end to suffering.

~ I took the world into me, rearranged it, and sent it back out as a question: "Do you like me?"

~ I looked at everyone and wondered where they came from, and who they missed and what they were sorry for. I started to wonder if there were other people so lonely so close to each other. I thought about 'Eleanor Rigby'. It's true. Where do they all come from? Where do they all belong? 

Jonathan Safran Foer, for making me think about life with more intensity than I did before.

More Than This

Cradling stones hold fire bright

As crickets call out to the moonlight

As you lean in to steal a kiss

I'll never need more than this

We all share the pain of our histories

But the ache goes away if you could see

This night under stars, well, I call it peace

If you say, I'll never need more than this

The trees grow so thick

You can barely see through

But the forest bestows the simplest of truths

You think you'll be happy if granted one more wish

But the truth is you'll never need more

You'll never need more

You'll never need more than this

Want so much in this life

There's so much to be

We sail through our youth so impatiently

Until we see

That the years move along

And soldiers and heroes come home

And they carry a song

Don't live in forgotten times

May this always remind you

Of the sea under the skies blue looking glass

Let's make this our story, let's live in the glory

Time, it fades away

Precious as a song

Cause someday we'll be gone

Cradling stones hold fire bright

As we watch the glow of the morning light

Someday our bones here they will lie, and so we sing

As the years move along and soldiers and heroes come home

And they carry a song

Let's make this our story

Let's live in the glory

Time, it fades away

Precious as a song

Cause someday we'll be gone

~ Vanessa Carlton

Distractions, Frustrations, and Losing Yourself.

Don’t you just hate it when you can’t focus on what you need to? Having your mind filled with thoughts that shouldn't be there, or being distracted by something that shouldn’t matter anymore? Having to think about what should’ve been or could’ve been. Or what would’ve been. Overthinking to the point where your mind becomes a wreck and you end up not thinking at all? ~ just going blank. So you lay your head down and just think to yourself,“Why me? Why now?”.